Debate on expectations

Continuation from previous post..

Check this link. This is about a debate on expectations. some are hilarious.. some can be thought about. And Apologies, it is in Tamil. No subtitles.

For Instance, the discussion about moustache... hahaha!! And about IITs and IIMs.. Gosh!!! Some valid points are discussed towards the end of the first episode. Worth waiting for it... do not skip!

Part two has a good opening... But sometime I feel the participants lacked seriousness. May be less can be concluded from sampled population.

View them at ease! nice time pass!

Conversation with a friend - Part Three

This blog is a continuation of Conversation with a friend - Part One and Part Two.

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Conversation with a friend - Part Three

I was more into asking questions than answering them, so I continued, "How much of expectations do we set?". Back to Basics. "In Bio-tech we do Perl programming. A Senior guy in our office quoted 'If this is not what you expected, please alter your expectations'.", she said. I intervened, "But the catch is we are trying to deliver a product. The client (regardless of the sexes) has some EXPECTATIONS and that needs to met."

"Imagine the whole matrimony as a process", she said. Well, OK. Let's add a new dimension to it. Instead of considering the product as a thing, let us equate the matrimonial relationship to a process. For any process, we have an input and an output. Inputs are the expectations and the output is a what the reaction occur between the inputs aided by an able catalyst.

What are these catalyst? Mind (Couple's)- Thought process; Originator of the expectations asking you to stick on to your expectations no matter what OR ability to adjust your expectations - Flexible planning, Society (the people around the couple) - What are they saying? what will they say? aunty talks, granny talks. A feasible solution can be found only by adding the right amount of Catalyst- The MIND and a tinge of SOCIETY (can be avoided if not required). It is up to the couple to sort out and set the levels of expectations.

I am not expressing my view to point out the correct way or the wrong way to go about setting expectations of a couple here. Let the couple sit together and decide on what expectations of each other can be met amicably. This can happen only if there exists an open hearted conversation between the two and how reasonable they are with one another expectations.

"hmm.. This should make an interesting blog", I commented. "Yeah! Lets blog it! Kats have been asking me blog since a while." She typed. "I had a look at his too. Pretty interesting! It is just that I find it too lazy to sit an type!" I replied back...


As for the requirements of Vish's Project, it was improperly gathered and given to Vish and Eddy man realized that it was out of Vish's control. After a horrible two week session he delivered the project and it is up for testing! Peace be it!

Conversation with a friend - Part Two

This blog is a continuation of Conversation with a friend - Part One.

Conversation with a friend - Part Two

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11:00am: Done! At last! Script execution is completed! Here is it Angel! Now I have passed the responsibility to Angel - Let her review and get back later - With sense of satisfaction coupled with remorse that I was a partially responsible for breaching the deadline, I sank into my cubicle. Logged on to Gtalk - I do find a couple of people "KNOWN" to me online. But I did not find the necessity to ping them - I seldom do.

12:45pm:"Bling" - The chat message window popped up...

"Hey Mr. Vish. How is the missus doing?", She typed. Bewildered, I was thinking to myself in a lighter vein, "How about asking how are you?? Is anyone concerned about me here?? Damn the Earth!". The conversation continued...

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2:30pm:"Now a days it is even worse...", my friend typed in the chat window. "Worse?? of what??", I asked myself. "It is worse now. I mean the EXPECTATIONS", she continued. "How would you measure it?? Worse.. Ain't it perspective??" - A flash of thought ran in my mind waiting to be vented out. But my fingers took the lead and typed what was in my pseudo-mind, "Expectations of WHO?? The Parents or the couples??" - A valid question, I felt - Cause, I was unsure as who the subject was.

"Both with the bride and the groom. Getting horoscopes matched is easier than preferences matching." Woah! True I felt. Lets Begin Listing! Guys first! ;-)!The Girls should have an "H1/F1/Z1/G1/ 26 alphabets1" visa - Assuming the groom is in US! She should be working - Contribute so much amount towards running the show! - may be I am not that kind! Or I did not exercise my rights properly.. =))! - Lets push my thoughts aside and hear what she has to say! I am more interested in what it is to come from a woman's point of view. Biased?? Will hear her views soon.

"The girl wants that he should be earning this much/that much. Most times in a couple, both of them work so much, either no kids or kids if as such don't get attention getting parents to look after kids is a trend I've seen in many of my friends." I concurred with her citing an example - " Yeah... Most of the guys and girls today set their bar so high and when they fail to meet the expectations rift arises! A distant family friend of ours, a couple - Both of them work for different leading outsourcing firms. The guy's MIL's mom takes care of their little ones, because the couple were not relenting to give up their jobs - Pay and Career???" "Why do they have kids in first place if they cannot manage?" She retorted. I sincerely did not have an answer for her for I was not involved...

"People seldom realize how much it affects the growth of the child - even in later stages." Examples are aplenty in today's mechanical and non-altruistic world. A spoilt child (I talking about 19-20yr old kid!), brought up by her grand parents, feel lazy enough to put a toothpaste on her brush and expects her granny to do it??? Flabbergasted? Oh! Don't be - Some call it grand parents' ABYSMAL love! True indeed. But ain't there a limit to it? Sign of a SPOILT child? What would that child (still a child!) do when he/she gets married?? Expect the spouse to brush this kiddo's teeth? Pete's Sake No!! A new level added to the expectation?

An arranged marriage going astray after engagement is not far from a trite thing these days. "Some girl's expectations are so high", she continued. Hmm interesting! coming from the horse's mouth?? Some whimsical reason is enough for the girl to call of the wedding. I just wondered, "Has a wedding been called off because of a GUY's call?" What exactly are the standards set by the girl? What do they want from a marriage or relationship between a husband and wife?

Coming back to the conversation, She continued, "Sometimes there are snobbish people who become sober post marriage. There are sober people who becomes snobbish as well post marriage but being snobbish or sober is personal choice - i mean one does not show such attitude to everyone." I added, "It all depends on how controlled you are with your emotions and your snobbish opinions. May be a difficult age to live in?" She concurred, "Very much! Imagine two years later??"

To be Continued...